Theo's Telescope

Through my telescope, I see the lunar landscape glistening
Like silver powder over rocks and sand
Near and yet so far away, two hundred thousand miles
Between the surface and the window where I stand
For over a decade, I have been watching the night sky
From the attic of this house too big for one
It has become my refuge, a little dusty universe
With cardboard boxes and a flickering sun

But even astronauts need love
When they're floating high above us
As for me, I remember when
These sleepless lonely spacesuit nights began

Two days after Christmas, I was home alone and waited
For my parents with my nose against the glass
For hours, they did not return, so I assumed the worst
And the police car's siren was a wailing yes
Now the dust has settled in the city and the corridors
But in my mind the storm is raging on
Trapped inside a spiral of insomnia and sleeping pills,
I sometimes wonder what I have become

Four more days and we'll reset
The calendars on our bed stands
Make a wish and a fresh start
Shuffle well and draw another playing card

But I don't want to hear this anymore
I get up every morning just to ask myself what for
I don't want to hear this anymore
Nothing ever changes on the attic floor

Last time I went to the park, I sat down on a bench
Next to an old lady who was feeding the birds
I spent an hour talking (rather to myself than to her)
But at last she looked at me and spoke some words:
"In your name, I sense the odor of do other and in your eyes,
I can see a search that will be over soon
I think it is better to stare once into the sun
Than to lead a life of howling at the moon"

But I don't want to hear this anymore
I get up every morning just to ask myself what for
I don't want to hear this anymore
Nothing ever changes on the addict floor

I don't want to hear this anymore
Another day is dawning that I try to ignore
I don't want to hear this anymore
In the light of my past, my future is obscure

Through my telescope, I see the lunar landscape glistening
Like silver powder over sand and rocks
It's the middle of the night and all that I can hear now
Are some late cars and the ticking of the clocks
Tomorrow it is twelve years and I'll try to confront my fears,
Reducing our distance to six feet
Christmas lights are fading and the cozy sheets are waiting,
So I take a pill and climb down into sleep